Are you a Pilates Groupie?


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PILATES {pul-a-teez} GROUPIE (n.) (adjective: obsessive, bendy body): used as a term of pride and positive group identity.

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A Pilates Groupie is characteristically intellectual and fanatical about the practice of Pilates.

An afflicted person may dedicate exorbitant amounts of time to Pilates workouts, its history, principles, techniques and various debates over superior methodology.

A Pilates Groupie can also suffer from a sub-condition that sees them inordinately attracted to and or pleased by the purchase of Pilates-specific, luxe fashion. See: Fierce and Flexible.

 

So, what are the symptoms? 14 signs to be aware of.

 

  1. Scary enthusiasm

A precursor symptom. Is your enthusiasm for Pilates scaring those around you?

When you talk about Pilates, do people do any of the following?

  • Run-away screaming
  • Roll their eyes
  • Groan
  • Try to placate you by agreeing and or nodding vigorously
  • Force a change of subject
  1. Say “Pilates” again, I dare you

You frequently say the following:

  • Begin a sentence with: “At Pilates…”
  • “Do you know what we did today at Pilates?”
  • “[Instructor – first name basis] says…”

Secondary symptom includes feeling exasperated when your significant other fails to ask how Pilates was that day.

  1. Do you know what would fix that?

You recommend Pilates as a cure-all for basically everything.

Back pain? Pilates! Pregnant? Pilates! Posture problems? Pilates! Stressed? Pilates! Want slim down and shape up; have I mentioned Pilates?

  1. You own more tights than real pants, shorts or skirts

And you fail to see why this is troubling.

  1. You own active wear that has a Pilates-specific slogan on it

“Ok, but first, Pilates”. “Follow me to Pilates”. “Pilates Nerd”.

If you own two or more articles of clothing emblazoned with Pilates-related slogans, you’re probably a Gold Level or higher PG (Pilates Groupie). Congratulations!

  1. You have a standing reservation

Booking a week ahead is life, bro! (Thank god for the Mind Body app!)

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  1. Come hell or high water, you’re there

Tough as nails, PGs do not miss class!

(No but seriously, please don’t come to class if you’re unwell!)

  1. Irrational fear of change

Changes to the timetable, substitute Instructors (how dare they go on leave!?), and public holiday schedules cause you a disproportionate amount of anxiety.

  1. You have a favourite/preferred mat or reformer

Location, location, location! You are immediately out of sorts if you can’t work out on a particular mat or reformer, every class. Totally rational, right?

  1. Pick me, pick me!

You’re quietly so chuffed any time the Instructor chooses you to demonstrate a movement.

  1. Toe socks are life

When your toe socks have their own drawer and you find yourself justifying buying “just one more pair”, because the new ones are particularly cute and you totally need them. (Only to forget to bring them to class most of the time!)

  1. Look at me!

On more than one occasion you find yourself demonstrating something you’ve learned at Pilates to someone who has no real interest in your ability to roll like a ball/do full teaser/a roll over etc. #sorrynotsorry

  1. General smugness

Pilates is life. You know it’s the best; and you’re so confident of this fact, you don’t even need to say it! Cue: general bendy smugness in your luxe active wear and super cute toe socks.

  1. You’re quick to share the love <3

Anyone say referral? You know you’re a Pilates Groupie when your love for your studio runs so deep you practically jump out of your skin to recommend it to anyone with a pulse or even the slightest interest in Pilates.

 

As Perth’s Pilates experts, PFI’s recommended course of treatment is to seek out more Pilates! For more information, or to level up your Pilates Groupie status head on over to www.pfiwa.com.au to see all the fantastic classes and membership options we have on offer!

 

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